What other's think

Recently I read the book The courage to be disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. It reminded me of a Hindi statement which I read a long time back when I was in India — Agar tum ye sochoge ki log kya sochte hai, toh log kya sochenge? English translation — If you always think of what other people think about you, then what will other people think?

This book made me remember this saying and made me realize how much people get affected by what other people think of you. Especially in this world where we all are on social media where you get instantly judged on an article you post or a tweet you write. There’s practically no chance that you will only get a positive response to what you posted. There will always be someone whose view would be conflicting to yours. What this book taught me is that, one needs to separate the thing which you can do and one you cannot do. For example: in this case, I can’t change what other people think of my tweet/post but what I can control is how I react to it. Another example this book gives is that of a girl who thinks that other people think that she isn’t pretty and that’s why the girl is not confident or doesn’t do well in society. Once you can differentiate between things which are not in your control (especially one where what other people think) you actually feel very light and more confident.

In essence, it’s important to differentiate between things you can do and you cannot do and try to change the things you can. Of course it’s easier said than done but giving it a try in our daily life can help us I believe.

There’s this quote in the book which my father also really likes, since he was the person who told me that when I was a kid. It comes from the Serenity prayer

God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.